我是谁？我可能会说，我叫王溪琳，我24岁，我喜欢做什么，我如何如何。但这些，都只是一些标签。
我也可以说我叫XXX，我XX岁，我喜欢XXX。如果是可易的标签，那并不是真正的我。
那我的身体，我的思想，是我吗？我有一副身体，里面装着与别人不同的意志，我的感受、我的情绪，让我成为独立的意识。
但这些，都是“我的”。“我的”是谁的？如果是“我的”，那或许还不是真正的我。
退去标签、退去“我的”，还剩下了什么？
似乎什么都不是了，又似乎什么都是。
2022年3月9日星期三
2022年3月6日星期日
Some seasonal bests 2
Just feel like writing it down!
The best accommodations I’ve ever had in NZ so far! Was not expecting this at all, still couldn’t believe I’ve manifested my dream room! Hotel-class room, modern design, en-suite, smart TV, simple kitchen, wardrobe, super comfy bed, amazing view, been single room for 2 weeks and had a lovely roommate for the last week, WOW, how great is that?! It is like almost 80% of what I dreamt of, for a staff rental rate, WOW. I am so so grateful, though it was only for three weeks. Every time I had a bad day during this season and came back the room, I was like, gosh everything is gonna be fine, I had manifested something awesome. And it did!
Surely this will happen again, the best is yet to come.
Was not a big fan of cherry until I actually worked for it. I ate like more than hundred cherries on my first day. Omg I love it, especially those big fat shinny export-class cherry, missing the texture so much while typing this! There were some good and bad orchards, trees, and days, but when I rewind, I am really grateful for the sunrises, everything warmed up after 7.30am, love all the orchards I’ve been, trees I’ve met and cherries I’ve eaten and picked. 🍒
One of my favourite moments and people during the season. I remember so much details of that night, probably because I was not drunk. My favourite couples and me, being their sober driver, I was exhausted to join after work but I am glad I did. We were in Queenstown, having dinner and drinks by the lake, with breezing wind and cruising ducks. Did some rock skipping, could never do over two skips. Went to Casino, girls talked, guys gambled. Headed to few parties. Good fun, good time. Chilled at the wharf, talking random shits as usual. Might not happen again in a while, but that was kind of memories I’d keep for a long time. Make it one of the reasons why I love Queenstown, not only just the beauty of itself, and the people I spent time with.
Cheers to see you guys again.
What a trail, that almost kill myself. Never know trail means mountain biking that’s why I was so dead. Four of us had zero idea it is an easy-intermediate trail. I was expected something leisure and chill, just like cruising around Singapore or DPC maybe? I am not a good cyclist, can’t even bike with one hand, can’t even balance well even with two hands. All the narrow parts, endless uphills, sharp turn downhills, are way too beyond my ability. If I knew we are going to ride these in advance I would definitely just chill at home. Never feel that much fear that lasts for hours. Most of the time I was thinking there is no way I can make it. And this girl here encouraged the shit out of me, tried so hard to let me have at least a little bit of fun. At least for now when I think back, I am so glad that she was there. And thanks to another two guys who keep encouraging me as well. Gosh I’m so useless in this… and I’m not afraid to admit it lol. Photo taken at the submit of Lake Dunston trail. Me ded.
No more mountain biking for me. I am done……
But other than this, I am extremely grateful we met again.
She is one of my best buddies in NZ, I am always soooooo excited to see her!!! <3 Hopped to Queenstown once a week just for milk tea, ice skating, talking shits, living in the same house for few days, and all those little moments we hung out together! They say best friends usually don’t have a nice photo so here we are, after-work-ugly-dumb look. Hope she will never find out! But it’s okay if you do, no one will really discover here, just written for my own record and memory!!!
And the 5-week South Island trip wrapped with Caleb the absolute legend. It wouldn’t be perfect without you! Second time visiting Queenstown and we love it so much this time. The lake, the mountain , the room we stayed, the balcony, the spa, the Ferg burger. Wow, the Ferg burger! We did something big——Nevis Swing! The biggest Swing in the world! This is way beyond your imagination! You are so afraid of height but you did it, I am so proud of you! This one week no budget holiday is super awesome and I am sure we will do it at somewhere else again and again and again.
What a season! It’s different than what I thought my summer will be, but everything works out awesome and again become another memorable summer! I am grateful and joyful, and I believe the best is always on the way!
2022年3月5日星期六
一些故事情节
这个二月，采了kiwano，strawberry，在厨房做洗碗工。在纽西兰打工度假很多人会一次打几份工，对我来说会做这样的事却是很不寻常。在奇异果季节开始前统统停了，只想好好休息。
已经很久没有那么“努力”工作了。虽然尝试不同的东西很新鲜，但我是个三分钟热度的人，尝鲜的劲头过了就开始觉得无聊，累。到有day off的时候整个人筋疲力尽，只想躺一整天，我就知道我该离开了。
一直工作就一直投入故事情节，会在意自己的责任，在意别人的看法，这些是已经很久没有感受了的，但原来一直还烙印在内心很深的地方。其实也可以任性地想不去就不去，我想起其实每个人都可以，但内心一直有很多拉扯，我不去了谁来顶替我？少一个人就要让其他人做更多的事……诸如此类，于是就违心地去了，违心就会累。特别是厨房的工作，以前只是喜欢看厨艺节目，不在其中也不知道厨房是蛮高压的环境。我真的又对各行各业的所有职位都觉得很respect！！即使是看起来不起眼的工作，但整个社会就像大型机械，没有小螺丝钉是组不成的。
但是我还是很感谢我遇到的人都很好，都很帮忙，也很友善。对错误也特别包容。从小成长在对犯错容忍度低的环境，于是就战战兢兢，害怕犯错。但这里大家都很包容，it’s your first day, you are doing such a great job……..不管是真的还是安慰，都很暖心。
这个月我真的非常活在故事情节，生活被填得很满，安排、情绪，各种。满了就没有空，就停不下来看自己。一次清醒梦也没做也让我意识到该缓缓了。quit了之后感觉生活瞬间慢了下来，不再是急促的冲冲冲，感觉松了一口大气！我真的认清了自己，我是一个没有目标没有追求的人！！人干嘛非要做些什么证明什么呢？？我是一条丰盛喜悦的咸鱼，能吃好吃的东西，能睡到自然醒，能显化各种想要的情景，能时刻观察自己，能意识到生命的本质！！不需要成为谁，不需要做什么，不需要压力让我成为更好的人！存在已经很平静喜悦了！！根本不需要做那么多事去证明！
心中的焦虑突然释怀了。两三个星期都过得紧紧绷绷，因为看到朋友都很努力工作，觉得自己也应该做些什么。因为我做的这些工作是为了其它什么原因，而不是为了好玩，所以累！今天起就不理了！！好好躺着吃东西开开心心的！！！
订阅：
博文 (Atom)