好累

好累的季节，我不知道为什么，却也知道为什么。

I did not keep my mind balanced. It has been swinging lots, going through the ups and downs, too much attachment, I did not let anything go. I hold them too tight until i hurt myself. I am tired of doing this, yet could not help myself not doing such. I don’t know why I get myself into this situation where I could easily get away. What do I want from everything?

I crave too much. I averse too much. Nothing is holding me back but myself. What is happening? Is this all the old sankhara that I never noticed before? It is too much that I hardly keep my mind balanced. I forgot the right way, I don’t know what is life again? What is happening right now? I am so lost? I haven’t felt this for years. 

此时此刻，我突然觉得好累。因为一直都累，但一直没有正视。现在直直的面对它，突然所有东西渐渐清晰了。像一瓶脏水，当不再摇晃而静下来，所有东西沉淀了，也就一目了然了。这是一个过程，我正在面对它。

是旧有的习性反应，也是我新加入的情绪。我变得易怒，暴躁。生活中有非常多的情节，引起了我这些，旧有的情绪。不知道为什么，特别多呢。我还是那个阳光正面的我吗？我怎么好像找不到自己了呢。我也变得在意别人的看法，在意别人怎么想我。对我的身份认同有了更多的执着。

我突然发现，都是因为我把太多注意力放在自己，这个角色里。以至于忘记了我一直是在被爱包围的圆满里。我没有停下来感受，我一直走一直走，一直忙一直忙。我曾经知道了生命是什么，它曾经展示在我面前，但我还是一直忘记，一直忘记，也因为这样，我一直在轮回里面！！我好难过，为什么我总是会忘记？我真的不想再这样轮回下去了，但为什么角色会一直这样呢？

你需要的只是一个静下来的时机。什么都不做。你什么都不做就会好了。你根本不需要去做什么。it is okay, everything is okay. You’re fine, you’re loved, you’re divine. It is okay to feel this. It is okay. It is okay.

You have nothing to worry about. 

Take a rest. Take a day off. You deserve it. Don’t worry too much. Let it be. Let it be. Everything will come to you. The good ones, or bad ones. It is okay, they are all the same. Everything can be great, even the worst ones.

给你的生命空间，给它空间去流动，让所有事情流过去，没有什么过不去的，现在过不去的，都让它过去。我给你力量，你有强大无比的能量，你能让任何事情过去。让它发生，让它过去。没事了，本来就没事。